This morning I have undertaken a deep and probing psychological study. This startling news is only trumped by the results: I'm a schizophrenic with blood pressure issues, as well as being an arrogant, introverted, confident, shy, people-orientated, withdrawn, well-adjusted, spontaneous, creative, skeptical, self-critical, imaginative procrastinator.
Gosh, that's quite a load to carry, it's as well I'm sitting down. Of course, it's just possible that the deep and probing psychological study is somewhat flawed, coming as it does from an article on the Mail's website. The article investigates the ancient art of graphology (the analysis of a person's psyche from their handwriting) and invites the reader to use their easy to follow guide to assess themselves.
I can't say I'm a believer. Depending upon the day, the situation, and how contrary I'm feeling, my writing can slope either to the right or the left, it can be joined up or separate, sometimes small enough to fit a paragraph on one line, sometimes large enough for one sentence to fill half a page. That's not to mention that I can write with both hands, though sadly not at the same time - that really would fuse the synapses of the graphologists wouldn't it!
Nor does it take account of the part early teaching plays. I was drilled in handwriting by a teacher whose own hand was little short of copperplate and who expected nothing less from us on pain of losing our 'pen license'. Such was the shame of being demoted to pencil that strict adherence of his many rules (size, slope, loop diameter and curvature, precise method of joining, etc.) was our overriding concern. Which perhaps explains why my knowledge of rudimentary history is so feeble - that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.
Still, it's interesting to see what the experts can draw information from. I always drink my coffee with the picture on my mug facing me, and I like all the dual function light switches in my home to be in sequence. Make of that what you will. Goodness, is that a man in a white coat I see coming to the door?
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