Monday, 4 August 2014
High Speed Chase
The LAPD are to be commended today for their heroic capture of a dangerous criminal in a high speed chase through the streets of Alhambra. A spokesperson said the miscreant tried to evade them but the LAPD officers are 'pretty fast'. The offender has been identified as Clark the tortoise, and has a reported top speed of 1 mph. In case you're worried, Clark was spared the indignity of a prison cell and has been returned to his family.